Tam
by WhensunshinewiltsIdanceinrain
Summary: After Dumbledore's death, Remus takes a stroll and winds up talking to a pink-haired muggle junkie who reminds him remarkably of himself. Tonks is NOT featured in this story. Rating for language and drug use. R&R? :


Tam

Remus stands in the middle of a sidewalk, paralyzed. He blinks. It was the night Dumbledore died. The morning? He didn't know. He did know the pink haired girl sitting on the bench in that park wasn't Tonks, she couldn't be. Yet he finds within him a tiny spark of hope that she is, and before he knows it is making his way over to her. He doesn't know _why_ _of course, _she would want to talk to him, but if there was anyone alive right now he wanted to be with, it was her.

About halfway there he realizes this girl has a completely different build than Tonks, but he walks on anyways, disappointed to see and inevitably compare Tonks to this child. She could be no older than sixteen, her neck was slightly thicker, her upper lip was larger and her cheekbones had a maturing look to them, while Tonks heart shaped face always made her seem youthened. But though Remus knew that appearance was little to nothing with Tonks, needle in her arm was a dead giveaway as to her being some random child in a park.

She looks up at him with alarm, her plump lips parted very slightly, her sizable neck diminishing the prominence of her chin and her large, made-up brown eyes reminding him of Tonks hurt expression when he decided to break up with her. The moment of alarm passed, and she shrugs.

"Sorry man, thought you... were my counselor or... my boyfriend or... something." She waves it away with the needle hand. "My parents don't care... but Miss Simmons, Reggie... hell, even my little sis... And I won't offer you a dose." She tells him, suddenly stern. "This shit jacks you up. Ruins your life... If Reggie catches me out here..." Her eyes gaze into the distance, a mixture of fright, anguish, shame, and self disgust mussing up her features. Remus notices that her eye make-up, while evident, is very tasteful, her clothes are very bright, a pang that reminds him of Tonks. Her jeans are a radioactive orange and she wears a pale violet knit off-the-shoulder top under which is a more subdued lime-green tank.

"Anyways, don't know what the guy sees is me... I'm a freshman for hells sake... but I love 'im to pieces." She huffs a laugh. "Tried to break with 'im y'know, cause he's a superstar and all and I'd ruin that, if people found out about..." She looked at the puncture wound in her arm revoltedly. "This crap. And the bastard wouldn't let me. I don't deserve him."

"I..." Remus starts, then stops thinking off the statute of secrecy, then starts, thinking there was probably a way he could phrase this without exposing his world, then stops, thinking why on earth why he talking to this sad little muggle junkie? Then starts one more time. Because she was like him. Because she had hair like Tonks. "I have a mental illness." He finally says. "Once a month or so, I go crazy, and violent, and I hurt everyone in my path. I used to have to lock myself up so I wouldn't hurt anyone. I now have a medicine that helps me, but I still worry..." Remus takes a deep breath. "I had a girlfriend. Much younger than myself. Youthful, vibrant... a superstar, if you want to compare her to your Reggie. Only, I actually did break up with her, a few months ago." Remus feels a well of emotion inside him, resulting in very damp eyes.

"I loved her, but I was selfish to let her love me back, I realized that. Even if she didn't. Still doesn't." Remus says clippedly to this muggle girl with pink hair.

"Dude man, let me tell you," she says, draping an arm around his shoulder and looking at the sky. "_Love_ is selfish. Reggie not letting me beak up with him was the best thing he ever did. For me anyways. You know what he told me? He said-" She took a perfect impression of an slightly older, male voice, and spoke in passionate, gentle tones. "You can and may OD a million times over and I will still love you. You're talking like I'm a goddamn saint and I'm not. You are compassionate and excentric, you don't give a shit what anybody thinks of you and you can draw like nobody's buisiness, but you get woozy being on the second floor of the school you're so terrified of heights. And I take you as you are, because drugs or no, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and no matter what you think of yourself, it's _my_ choice to date you, and I stand by that." Remus is taken away by the sudden realization that when Tonks wants to imitate someone, even with her morphing abilities she doesn't quite mark up to this girl.

"It's my choice to fly high as a kite." She says, a little choked. "Just like it's my man's and your girl's choice to go out with people like us. Hell man, you have medicine, you have no control over your own choices _rarely_. At _certain times_. I probably don't even have the right to compare myself to you." She looks down. "I'm just a pitiful little junkie. I'm so hooked I'm sneaking out to kiddy parks in the middle of the night to get high. You're a damn better sight than me." She coughs violently, but Remus doesn't flinch. He considers her, and then speaks very earnestly.

"I think you ought to give yourself more credit. You are very wise, especially for someone your age." She looks up appreciatively. Then she considers_ him_.

"Man, I will when you do." She chuckles and holds out a hand, blue from the cold. "Go get your girl." She shoves him off the bench, and Remus finds himself answering.

"I will." And he nearly apparated away on the spot, but he turns around to the girl says, "I'm Remus."

"Tam." She replies airily. And _then_ Remus apparates away.

Tam blinks, looks at the needle in her hand, and then shakes her head.

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**I just wanted to try a Remus Tonks story and made up Tam in the process. I have an intention of making this a one shot but may continue it if people like it. I'm very tentative about writing R/T, because this is the first thing I've come up with that's remotely decent and it doesn't even feature Tonks.**

**But if you like it, more power to you, just let me know.**

**Mary ;) R&R!!!**

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